TALKING TO YOUR TEEN ABOUT SEX

Research shows that teens that come from homes where parents talked to them about sex tend to delay having sex until later. And once they do have sex, they tend to be more responsible about using contraceptives.

Furthermore, the earlier parents have this talk, the better. Age 12 is on the late side since, with the arrival of puberty, hormones stimulate an irresistible curiosity and interest in sexual matters.

Parents should be a teen's primary source of information and guidance about sex, sexuality, dating and love. However, many parents are uncomfortable discussing these issues with their teens. The following suggestions may help:

Admit to you teen that you feel awkward. You could say, "Talking about sex isn't easy for me. But I love you and I think it's important that you hear this information from me." Despite your discomfort, you want to reinforce the message that lovemaking between two people is normal and natural in the right circumstances. You also want to make sure you share your mores and expectations regarding the right circumstances.

If you can't say words like penis, vagina, erection and orgasm without embarrassment, practice saying them until they become natural to you, reminding yourself that they are merely body parts and natural biological functions. Always use these clinical words and not a slang substitute.

Rehearse before your talk. Recruit your spouse or someone else to listen to what you plan to say.

If you don't' feel sure of your command of the facts of life, consult a book about teen sexuality and share it with your son or daughter. This doesn't let you off the hook, but the book can be a facilitator for talking to your teen. It is not a substitute.

If you cannot bring yourself to talk with your teen about sex, consider asking your teen's pediatrician to pinch-hit for you. Most teens feel at ease talking about sex with their trusted doctor. And pediatricians get this request from parents routinely.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics