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SEXUAL PRESSURE
Abstinence: A
Positive Approach
When teaching your teen about sexuality, it's best to focus on the positive
aspects of delaying sexual intercourse rather than the potentially adverse
consequences. You might begin by acknowledging that physical intimacy
between two loving adult partners is beautiful and joyful, while also
warning about the perils of experience that comes too early.
An approach might be, "When young people have sex before they're ready, they
usually end up regretting it. I'd hate to see that happen to you." Then
continue with other good reasons that many dating couples offer for their
decision to practice abstinence.
Why wait? It's the only foolproof way to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.
If you don't have sexual intercourse, a girl can't get pregnant.
Why wait? It's the best way to avoid contracting a sexually transmitted
disease (STD).
It's important for teens to know that they can get an STD by having oral sex
as well as sexual intercourse.
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Words to Fend
Off Unwanted Sexual Advances |
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Advance |
Refusal |
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"C'mon, everybody does
it!" |
"I don't
care, I'm not everybody. And besides, not everybody's 'doing it,'
including some of the kids who say they are." |
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"If you loved me, you'd go
to bed with me." |
"If you
loved me, you wouldn't pressure me into doing something I'm not ready to
do." |
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"If you don't have sex
with me, I'll break up with you." |
"If being
your girlfriend means that I have to sleep with you, then I guess I
don't want to be your girlfriend." |
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"Why won't you have sex
with me?" |
"Because I
don't want to." No further explanation needed. |
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"We had sex before; why
are you turning me down now?" |
"I'm
entitled to change my mind. It's my body and my life, and I want to wait
until I'm older before I have sex again." |
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"Let's do it. You know you
want to!" |
"No. No.
No! What part of 'no' don't you understand?" |
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"Your parents are out all
night; let's go back to your house." |
Use your
ace in the hole: blame your folks. "Go back to my house? We can't. My
parents won't let me have boys over when they're not home?" |
Source:
American Academy of Pediatrics |
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