SELF-ESTEEM

What Is Self-Esteem?

A general feeling of self-worth based on a person's own valuing of herself and her beliefs about the way others values her. People with high self-esteem have fewer tendencies to rely on others' opinions as the most important measure of their self-worth.

Developing skills to improve self - esteem

Teens learn to acquire self-esteem through positive thinking and positive action. They learn that self-esteem is the foundation for confidence and achievement and to respond appropriately to resist social pressures to engage in self-destructive behaviors.

• Exercise. Exercise helps relieve stress and makes children feel strong.

• Sharing talents. A great reader can visit a younger class to share a favorite book.

• Setting and reaching goals.

• Learning new skills. Teaching others new skills.

• Helping others.

• New responsibilities and freedoms.

• Positive thinking.

• Activities that require cooperation (rather than competition alone).

• Praise for a job well done or for good effort.

• Being part of a team or club.

• Being an important part of a family or group of friends.

A realistic self-image

Developing a realistic self-image is dependent on effective cognitive development. Seeing oneself as one really is is a very abstract process. The early adolescent, therefore, has a hard time picturing a self-image, and the middle adolescent spends this period looking for different ways to be an adult. Finally, by late adolescence, a realistic self-image is possible to obtain, and the job then is to learn how to use the hand they've been dealt effectively.

Psychosocial Development

Closely tied to both pubertal and cognitive development is psychosocial development. This refers to the teenager's growing ability to relate realistically to other people, to learn to become a mature partner in an intimate relationship, and to see oneself realistically. This type of development may never actually end, but a good portion of it should be accomplished before a person can be considered an adult.

There are 4 tasks involved in becoming 'psycho-socially developed'. They are:

• The ability to separate effectively from the parents both emotionally and intellectually while still retaining the bonds of family
   

• The ability to choose a realistic vocational goal
   

• Developing a mature sexuality
   

• Developing a realistic and positive self-image

For this type of development, adolescence is divided into 3 stages:

• Early adolescence: from about 10 to 13 years old
   

• Middle adolescence: from 14 to 17 years old
   

• Late adolescence: from 18 to about 21 or 22 years old

Those ages aren't absolute, but they work as a good general guide.

Early adolescents (10-13 years old) display their desire to become independent in a totally non-rational, gut-level manner. They can actually throw tantrums just like 2 year olds and become clingy with a parent like a little child. The hallmark of early teenagers' developing self-concept and need for independence is their quick embarrassment and desire not to be seen with their parents. Kids at this stage want to be with their same-sex friends more than with their families. This is the age at which parents become 'stupid,' a condition that resolves when adolescents reach the late stage.

Middle adolescents (14-17 years old) are generally finished most of their pubertal development, and they have begun to use their new abstract thinking abilities well. They still want to be with their peers but now the group includes both sexes. Girls at this stage are deeply involved in their relationships with friends, while boys are more likely to want to 'hang out' and do things with their friends.